Is this the last time?

I was visiting Karen Ehman's blog and she had blogged about her "baby" starting 5th grade. Her thoughts about blinking and her children growing up really hit me hard. It's been a challenging week, but a good week, praise the Lord!

Many times I find myself wondering if they will ever grow up but then I realized I am already past the pregnancies, the nursing, the binkies, and even the potty-training! (I never thought that would ever happen!) And with the start of school this fall, I am officially no longer a mother of a preschooler since Jesse has begun kindergarten. Woah. *deep breath* After being exhorted to "drink in every moment" on Karen's blog, I've been trying to be very intentional about these precious moments and treasure every one.

So when Jacob asked me to rub his back and sing "the sunshine song" (You Are My Sunshine) the other night, even with every ounce of my exhausted being crying out for a few moments of peace and quiet, I knelt down beside him and did it with joy in my heart. How do I know that THIS is not the last time he will ask?

It's like the process of following your weaning baby's cues. Two of my nursinglings weaned on their own at about a year and as they began cutting out nursing sessions, I began to wonder, "Is this is it? Is this the last time? Is it really over?" Eventually it was. But you never know that until AFTER the moment is gone. Then as time goes by and they never ask to nurse again, then you know...and then you cry (or jump for joy!). For me it was very bittersweet.

So I sang and after the moment had passed, and I was sitting on the couch in the quiet house with Jason away at a meeting, I knew I had made the right choice. I rubbed his back and sang with all my heart instead of saying "Momma is too tired tonight, Hon." So if that was the last time he ever asks, I know I have no regrets.

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance" - Ecclesiastes 3:1,4

Blessings,
~ Marcia ~